18. Facing Your Fears

"It's a lot easier to just bury your head in the sand ...."

So said a mate. It's a controversial statement with a comforting ring of "truth". But is it really true? Ask yourself, how does hiding in the sand help you?

In the long-term, Facing Your Fears will serve you so much better.

When fear overwhelms, it's tempting to "hide" and bury your head in the sand. Like the child who cups her eyes and says, "You can't see me know!" She believes she's invisible - but, of course, she is not.

With your head in the sand, the "scary thing" can still see you. It lurks among the grains to haunt you. And guess what? You'll probably suffocate! Isn't that more scary that the source of the original fear?

An effective alternative

How can you un-stick yourself from scared, sand-choked and stuck?

I recently had to ask someone if I could stay on another two weeks. I couldn't predict or control the outcome - and my anxiety was palpable. I remember sitting on the bus with knots in my stomach. But the question had to be asked, the "deed" had to be done.

I summoned up all my inner strength, my experience, my powers of reasoning, negotiation and charm - and found an angle that made a "yes" response a win-win situation for us all.

My quest was a success. If I had not asked - the anxiety would have continued and I would up been "up shit creek without a paddle" as the saying goes.

So, how can you un-stick yourself from scared, sand-choked and stuck?

• Remember that the "sand" is more likely to kill you than the thing you fear.

• Remember that fear is a natural human state. It plays a vital role of alterting us to genuine danger. In manageable doses, it spurs us on to action to make the changes that will enhance our lives. So fear can be a friend - a good thing.

• Recall when - and how - you have overcome fear in the past - and use this to remind yourself that you can do it again! Remember how good it felt when you came out the other side? That buzz? Use it...

Tips for when fear outstays its welcome

1) Play with Perspective

The other night I woke up feeling anxious. Deadlines looming - day of workshops to produce and host, a new home to find. And more. Plates to juggle. Was feeling the pressure.

What helped me get back to sleep? I pictured the thing I feared most and chose to view it as a cuddly, fury toy!

Instead of scary, it became colourful, tactile, sensual and fun. A child's delight!

As soon as I shifted the focus from fear to fun, I began to relax. The butterflies quietened and the fear abated to a manageable dose. I repeated this a couple of times - and within minutes my fear had diminished such that I fell back to sleep. Soundly!

2) Raid your memory banks for previous triumphs

Remember point 3 from above?

Recall when you have overcome fear in the past. Bring to mind that sense of achievement. Embody the buzz. Let the excitement and the energy fill you up.

Focus on the positive facets of facing your fears. Draw on the well of that energy, that resource.

Don't get bogged down in the "How" at this stage. Just luxuriate in the triumph of the outcome. Let it nourish you and heal your wounded soul.

When you're ready you can think about the how. What DID you do? What did you call upon to help you to face that fear? Write it down, draw it - turn it into a piece of music - record it in any way that's meaningful for you.

You can't remember how you did it? No matter. Just know that you did it somehow - which means that you can do it again :-)

3) "So What?" Syndrome

Two small words, one enormous impact.

When the niggling voices of judgement and self-doubt start to bite, toss them a retort of "So what?" Whatever weapon the saboteur armies try to beat you with, parry and disarm them with, "So what?"

So what if .....? So what? ....... Because the likelihood is, it doesn't matter.

You mum wouldn't approve? So what? You might fluff a line in a presentation? So what? World's still turning. The sky is not about to fall in :-)

And take a tip from Byron Katie's The Work; next time you assume your mum, dad, brother, sister, boyfriend, husband, wife, son, daughter, teacher, boss, auntie ethel, grandma / boobeh, the gardener, the milkman, best friend, next-door neighbour - or anyone else - wouldn't approve, ask yourself "How do you Know?"

And, even if you can "prove" it, ask yourself again, "So What?" !

© Annie Wigman

Dancing Tree - Creatively Yours

Helping You with Creativity, Colour, Sparkle, & Style

The tree was huge. Massive. It held me rooted to my spot and it beckoned me to move around.

This ancient and magnificent old oak tree is a Turkish Oak in Dulwich Park. It is so grand it's honoured with a plaque naming it as one of the great trees of London. This tree oozes composure and presence. It has a regal stillness which commands attention and respect. It generates and radiates awe.

I fell in love with this huge tree - it is truly awesome - and yet this tree is just not me. It's not quite the Dancing Tree.

The Dancing Tree is a tropical palm, able to bend and flex in the wind - to deal with with the ravages of wild exuberant nature. This tree can adapt and dance, whatever is being thrown at her. And stay loyal and true to her core. .

How can the Dancing Tree help you?

The Dancing Tree can help you to meet the challenges and frustrations that life throws at you too.

• You're very bright and can write - and yet you struggle and squirm when required to express yourself

• You're a latent, dormant artistic creative who yearns to reclaim and give reign to your artistic drive and desire

• You know you're creative but not quite sure where or how yet!

• You love colour, sensuality, fashion and style - but not quite sure how to put it all together to show you off at your sparkling and charismatic best.

Dancing Tree Creative Catalysts, Style Strategists, for:

• Creativity Coaching - Ignite and reconnect with your artistic and playful creative grooves
• Writing & Presenting - Polish up your writing and public speaking for websites, articles, workshops and blogs
• Style Consulting - Radiate your personal charisma & confidence, colour & style

With the Dancing Tree you get the arching flexibility of the palm, and the secure undertones of regal oak. Like perfume - and like the complex lives we lead - it has layers. Top notes of sensuous, tropical spice, then aftertones that caress you in the warm embrace of a great oak.

A paradox of movement and stillness, of molten silken flexibility and rock solid stability and resolve. A hybrid, eclectic, a juxtaposition ...

... Dancing Tree offers roots to keep you anchored, flexibility to help you move, branches for you to climb and gain new perspectives, fruit to nourish your senses, and leaves to help you to balance, float and fly!

Dancing Tree Creativity with Style

Creatively Yours

Taking You to the Top

Happy New Year!

© Annie Wigman

16: Live Your Life Right for YOU b4 it's a write-off ...

There was the eerie absence of traffic up ahead. The side road blocked off at the junction into the main road. All the vehicles doing a U-turn. Tape. Police. Bystanders ... and a wrecked car, turned on its head and crushed and mangled. And debris ...

I don't know how it happened. I didn't see it. Didn't hear it. Only the aftermath. A sunday morning walk to the supermarket. Had been unremarkable ...

I can't get that picture of pale green remains of a car out of my head. It left me feeling sick to my very soul. I've no idea who was in there. And yet the sight of that mess brought tears to my eyes and left me shaking.

Have you ever heard the sound of a traffic accident? It is a terrible sound. I didn't hear this one but I am still just as haunted.

It's a bank holiday weekend. Weather's set fair for tomorrow. Supposed to be a hot one. Carnival! Music, colour, floats, procession, jerk chicken! rice n peas ...

But this accident was fatal. Car and human life a write-off. I guess it all happened so fast. One minute driving along - the next crashing into a lampost (apparently) and spinning and turning and flinging. And dying ...

I like to be upbeat in these writings. To be a playful kitten. To be the Dancing Tree. To be Sparkletta! Someone said to me yesterday that I'm the happiest complainer they'd ever met! :-)) Yep, I'm a right strop-meister at times, a right little madam princess. And yet it's always tempered by a happy smile and a vibe of positivity. However scared or under duress I feel. There's a part of me that's always anchored, secure in the knowledge that, whatever it takes -whatever hardship I sometimes find myself under - I'm living my life as best I can at the moment, the way that I want it.

It may not be "perfect" - not yet, anyway. There's plenty still to aim for. And, I'm sticking by the things that are important to me. I work part-time, even if it means not always having all the money that I'd like. I work among and with creative, artistic people. I have time to walk in the park, to stop and smell the roses. I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn each blooming day!

I have time to chat, time to amble, time to dream. Time to be as mischievous and playful and curious as a kitten and as foxy and as agile as an adult cheetah.

My life is sometimes trying. I don't always have enough money. Right now, I need to renew my expired Passport and I need to book airline tickets for my nephew's barmitzvah in Israel. And there are at least 2 or maybe 3 courses that I'd hugely like to invest in. All seem frustratingly out of reach at the moment.

And yet there's a calmness, a stillness inside me that's completely happy and content. I'm not a 24-7 corporate drone.

In a couple of weeks it'll be once again Rosh Hashanah. The Jewish New Year. I'm no longer "observant", no longer religious. But I welcome this time of renewal and I wish you all a wonderful, sweet and happy new year. And that you should live your lives as you wish them to be remembered. With fondness, with calm and excitement. And passion. And truth. And wisdom. And mischief. And fun. And music. And art. And colour. And science. Creativity. And sensuality. And integrity. And authenticity. And true to yourself ....

What is the crucial thing that helps you to live the life that's right for you before your life gets written off?

Happy New Year!

Annie x

© Annie Wigman

15. Perfect Pancakes ... Perfect Timing

I was on my way to the park. Is a beautiful, hot and sunny day. Had camera in bag - ready to snap my shots of the flowers in bloom.

Oh, and get an ice cream on the way. A blissful confection of Butterscotch from Hope and Greenwood in Northcross Road. As I turned the corner from Lordship Lane I saw the canopy.

'Perfect Pancakes'. I was tempted - I love the tangy thrill of a lemony, sugary crepe. Yeah, I was tempted - but not quite tempted enough. The ice-cream called first and I was on the ice-cream / sweet shop side of the road.

I got my butterscotch cone and headed on down to the park. Soaked up the sunshine. Revelled in the scents and colours of the flowers. Spotted ducks in the pond and tortoise on the banks.

Got restless - thought about the washing I'd left in the machine that needed another spin before being hung out. Felt guilty that the most 'productive' thing I'd done was buy a picnic blanket at 25% off in the supermarket (the grass in the garden needs rain - it's all dry and prickly). The picnic blanket is soft and comforting - soft enough for a baby even I'd say - and soft enough for a spakletta princess!

Headed home. Crossed the road. Walked by the pancake stand. Chatted to the stallholders - ask them how often they there. They seemed nice. Didn't buy a pancake. Walked on a little way - then turned back. I caught their eye - they caught mine. I was almost at Lordship Lane again but walked back down Northcross Road ...

"Perfect Timing" she said. "We're about to pack up and this is when I get generous - the fruit's got to go ..."

So I had me a perfect crepe, with summer berries - the last of the strawberries and some juicy blackberries to boot. And lemon juice and sugar and golden syrup (the maple had all gone) - and some other berry pulp. "You've created a new flavour!" she told me. Kitten with a ball of pancake - all playful and creative. :-) 

It was the end of their day - and I got four toppings instead of two for £2.50 - and extra fruit too. Kitten with a ball of mischief got more pancake for her pennies!

And the flower pics too. A joyful little jaunt all round. And oh, so simple, and oh, so (semi) spontaneous.

That was mine for today. I'd love to learn, what are your tips for the sauce of spontaneous joy? Please write your comments and let me know.

Enjoy the sunshine!

© Annie Wigman

Dancing Tree - Sparkletta!

14. Solitude- Sol y Solo

It's a beautiful sunny day. It's a bank holiday weekend. And I'm sitting alone in the garden. 

It's peaceful. There is birdsong, the humming of bees, a gentle breeze and the sound of not too distant laughter. I love the sun. It would be perfect - but for the fact that it's a bank holiday weekend and I'm sitting alone in the garden. Sunshine a la Solo.

I'm grateful for the warm sunshine. I'm grateful for the garden. I'm grateful that I don't have to work today. I'm grateful that my time is my own; that right now I am obliged to no-one. No duties to dutifully perform, no chores needing my attention. No children to keep entertained, no elderly relatives to get anxious over. I am not rushed off my feet. I am not tired, exhausted, over-stretched. I am not busy with busyness.

My housemates are away. I have the house and the garden and the sunshine all to myself. I know many who would kill for this. Or at least they think they would. 

How about you? Do you feel busy and overwhelmed with things to do? Do you crave an oasis of solitude? Your moment in the sunshine with not a care in the world? I can understand that.

And yet to me, this path is NOT completely blissful and carefree. Whilst striving to walk the path of gratitude, truth is I also feel like a dancing tree with no-one to dance with. Like a kitten with no ball of string to play with. I'm sitting here waiting to see if my friend will call me back.

We had plans to go to the movies. A tentative plan, not one set in stone. Will it happen? I've called. I've texted. No reply. It's gloriously sunny and, well who wants to be indoors? And yet still, I just want someone to play with! Indoors, Outdoors, with a ball of string.

Sometimes things don't go perfectly to plan. Sometimes life can seem "less than .."

Today I've had a moan coz I'm feeling all alone. And yet when all is said and done, I'm in the garden in the sun!

What do you do to get yourself out of the mired and into the realm of the inspired?

© Annie Wigman

Dancing Tree Coaching - Sparkletta!

13. Stop the Clock!

"Don't you go worrying about time - there's always tomorrow"

So said the lollipop man. He started off by telling me that I looked happy as I was chugging alone.

And you'd think I'd be glad. But I was running a minute or two late and in a hurry. And instead of simply enjoying the moment and accepting that, despite my tardy timekeeping and general stresses and strains, I was actually reasonably happy (happier than I thought?) - I jumped into guilt mode and said "Ooooh I'm late, I'm in a hurry, I'm meant to be over there ..."

Straight into beating myself up for being less than perfect. Straight into dismissing the happy vibe and diving headlong into self-berating.

But his words and his kind smile did reach me. This gentle elderly man who helps school children to cross the road in safety had just the right message for me.

"Don't you go worrying about time. There's always tomorrow." Slow down, Annie, slow down.

Of course, at some point we do run out of tomorrows. But what's more important though? Rushing and worrying about what may or may not happen? Or stopping and breathing in and enjoying what IS, now.

The clock ticks, and the bell tolls.

And the ball of string is still game to be played with.

Have a great moment. Have many great moments!

© Annie Wigman - Sparkletta!

Dancing Tree - Creative Catalysts

12. What did the square peg say to the round hole?

"Ouch!"

What happens when you live a life that doesn't fit you? When you live an everyday torment of "ouchy?"

Do you get grouchy?

What if your life draped around you like the finest cut couture garment? A hand-tailored suit? Hand-made bespoke shoes?

Does your current life flatter you or flatten you? 

Does it raise you up or crush you down? Does it fit like a glove or make you frown?

Does it fill you with delight or highlight your sense of plight?

Can you feel a sense of play to carry you through another day - and see what comes your way?

Kittenwithaballofstring says hey whatever tis your thing ..

Create and play and find your way

World's waiting to hear what YOU want to say

And create for yourself a world that fits you

That inspires and flatters, not tires nor batters

What did the square peg say to the round hole?

"Ouch!"

So go play YOUR way and kick out the grouch!

(with apologies to the garden gnome - not meant to depict it as a grouch - is there more for its sense of mischief and play - well that's what I say!)

© Annie Wigman - Sparkletta!

11. No Blog? Snow Blog! Snow Play

Snow, snow, surrounded by snow

The neighbours are building a snowman

Snow, snow, life's on go-slow

A time when we're forced to have no plan

Snow, snow, 

stop saying NO

Just enjoy it and stay warm inside

Yes, bless

Time to confess

There was wine with Jules, Carly and Jess

This a day for play

from work to shirk

to not even feel irked

To celebrate

Inebriate

Forget whatever is on your plate

This day is great

Feb 2009

good bye 2008!

Make the most of it and Play, tis wot I say!

What will you do to play today?

Let me know with you comments.

sizzling snowflakes

Annie x

Dancing Tree - La Sparkletta!

10. Playing with Spaghetti Brain

A kitten with a ball of string is having fun - and learning - however much of a mess it makes and a tangle it gets into.

Sometimes though, life can seem like being all caught up in a spider's web of sticky spaghetti. String tangled and knotted and partly unravelled all over the place.

It can seem overwhelming.

So what to do to break free? I felt pretty much overwhelm the other day. I've been cramming in information. Listening to downloads of teleclasses, reading blogs, asking questions, compiling responses to telecomms queries I have. It was all just getting too much and I just could not absorb any more.

So what did I do? I downed brain tools and started to play. I cooked - I made chocolate dipped roasted almonds. I made tomato sauce. I made French onion soup. I got creative!

I switched off my intellectual brain (gave it a rest!) and switched on to using my hands and my creative, intuitive brain. I got productive - coz I chose to "switch off" and play ...

A true embodiment of  kitten with a ball of string. And I got to smile again ...

Play - I really recommend it! And talking of recommending, here's a book that really made me smile - is called:

The Hedonism Handbook - Mastering the Lost Arts of Leisure and Pleasure

by Michael Flocker - De Capo Press

Annie

9. Dancing away the Cold Freeze

It's a new year - it's January - and it's ffff  freeezing!

Not only the ever ominous credit crunch - we're being blasted with crunching cold winds from Siberia as well. So easy in this environment and these circumstances to feel it's too darn inappropriate to feel kittenish and playful. Too difficult and challenging too. I know exactly what you mean!

And yet, and yet - maybe now more than ever is the time to dance and play - all that moving serves to keep you warm. And staying stuck and still only increases the strength of biting chill.

So this eve, in defiance of all the gloom - I'm off to dance a little salsa. At St Thomas More Hall in Lordship Lane.

What are your favourite ways of keeping your spirits warm and high? And what new ways might you venture to try?

Happy New Year!

Annie x